Procrastination Re-Education

Why has Laziness become a such a negative adjective? why do we tarnish such a wonderful thing to describe the few exceptions within a large group? This doesn't occur anywhere else; all Muslims aren't Terrorists, all Stoners aren't drug addicts, and all chubby couch enthusiasts aren't Obese. Why have we over classified the casual majority of my peers who partake in the laziness with recreational amounts? By doing so we are shaming each other and giving power the unoriginal hecklers that ruined faggot for everyone. I miss faggot, it was such a shocking and effective universal way to encapsulate one's undesirable behavior, I won't go any further on the faggot topic, Louis C.K's stand up material echo's my sentiment on the matter, so just go watch one of his sets. I will however try to clarify some of the mistakes we have made when using the L word to describe someone, it's a big task but I aim to correct the misconception of lazy while creating a positive association with the activity, wish me luck.

I feel lazy people are deserving of the same praise we give our highly functioning Stoners. When you meet a real life Stoner do we immediately judge them? No we don't! we just assume they use Marijuana to cope with a lackluster schedule or the boring vacation tales that frequently spill out of our mouths. In fact when encountering the Smokaduss-reefakai species we often reserve our judgement until we spot a combination of clues, such as:

• A fully functioning dust free Super Nintendo game Console
• More than one Journey Album
• any poster within the fantasy genre
• An employee badge from a Video dispensary

And even then, we still wait to verify their age and address, if over 30 and inhabiting a parents basement = BAD, LOSER, HALF WIT, UNDERACHIEVER. If under 30 and still at home = GOOD, NORMAL, AN UPSTART, GOAL SEEKER. When was the last time any of my lazy people received such concession? If we are labeled lazy then we are just lazy, nobody considers circumstances with us.

Why can't I be a fully functioning Lazy person? I have goals and dreams, I just don't want to accomplish them so fast. Why can't my love of naps and deadline extensions be separated from the extremists bums who leach from society? We can make the divide when interpreting the Qur'an, why not with something much more simple?

So I propose this: Let's use different words when describing the different types of disinclined, call someone lacking motive; unmotivated, label the slight lack of work ethic; slacking, and please by all means call a habitually unemployed, non contributing person; a bum. Leave Laziness out of it, because I enjoy my lazy alter ego, and I wish to keep it a secret. Nothing brings me more joy in life than being called a "hard worker" while secretly pursuing my lazy interests, which used to be much easier before all you bums started blowing my spot up!