My written random thoughts are really starting to become a mock of the actual random thoughts I have all to frequently. Much like my internal ramblings, nailing down a solid thought about something crazy going on in my head is actually very difficult; the only difference between the two is that the verbal variety can simply be blurted out sometimes, and if it doesn't go over well: you can simply say "just kidding" or step out of the line at CVS, overall an easy fix. But when attempting to create an amusing anecdote with the same material one must be aware that everything you say is permanent and has the potential to be quoted at a party or used as incriminating evidence. That pressure is probably the reason I have two abandoned posts, one of which I spent a solid hour researching Michelangelo to create the perfect segue into my newest random thought. Like a good movie, I feel like an audience needs to have background information and a proper introduction to their protagonist before they start blurting shit out like an incoherent Facebook status update: "I LOOOVE BLUEBERRY WAFFLES, OFF TO THE BANK".
So with that being said, I cannot allow this post to veer off towards a T-Pain music video or a day nap like my Michelangelo research did, I actually have something important to talk about; my departure from the Java train. (Nailed this segue!!!!!)
Much like carrying around a bastard love child, I have been attached to the Java Train for close to nine months now and it has been such a fun and/or traumatizing ride. My time working there can easily be compared to some of the best times I've had working in the past, but what made this time special was knowing that everything ends, so I savored every laugh along the way. I really did enjoy knowing everyone and I feel like I should say a few things about some of the main characters that made my time there memorable.
Brian: Who else would I start with besides my main man Memphis!! I think it took me all of about 15min to realize you were gonna be my "Bro Fo Sho" at work. I don't know what all those pussies in Vietnam were complaining about? fuck Charlies in the weeds!! we saw some real heavy shit man, we spun pizzas with reckless abandon and created the slacker Olympics. I have to be honest and say that even though you were 19 I always considered you a peer because you have this understanding of being funny that only came to me through years of awkward situations and terrible decisions, and you are also more serious than you get credit for. When I look back on being your age I can't think of a single person including myself that was as original, creative, or aware as you are, most kids your age are entirely too occupied with being bags of douche instead of bettering themselves, and I think you are aware of that and you have separated yourself. Without giving you the full Ben Afleck Good Will Hunting speech I just want to demand that you stay creative and find something that makes you happy in life, and DO NOT!!!! DO NOT!!!! get some crazy ass girl pregnant until you get your shit together.
Katie: What can I say half pint? so many good times come to mind, remember when I made you laugh so hard you spit your drink out everywhere? remember when you used to scale the shelves to reach stuff? how about our time spent together at the pickle bucket dinner? I'm gonna miss ya Bossy Smurf!! I will miss telling you embarrassing things and then trying to stop you from telling everyone which just made it more funny. Hell I never really cared how loose lipped you were with everything because it just created really funny situations, I truly think it is hilarious when someone calls me on my bullshit and you rarely let me slide in that regard. I recently told you that you were a "dude chick" which doesn't make you any less girly, it just means that you avoid the trappings of becoming the typical nagging, clingy, over bearing girl that seem to be all to common now, I think it is awesome that you get the male perspective and you understand how incredibly simple we are. I still can't believe some of the things you have joked about with me, some of them would have made for a really funny harassment lawsuit if we worked in a corporate gig. I wish you best of luck in the future and I refuse to wish you luck with being a mother because I know you won't need it, that 5 pounder is gonna enjoy having such a cool mom.
Caroline: Ok so Star Wars is hosting a pancake breakfast next weekend, I'm told that Chewy, C-3PO, and a few Tusken Raiders are scheduled to appear.........will you come with me? unlike last time this proposal will come with full date parameters, I will be bringing my Letter Jacket and a Corsage. My Mother will be transporting us in her Buick and I have a coupon for a free Appetizer at the Outback Steak House. I cannot promise anything....BUT if you play your cards right I will be open to a mild amount of hand holding. Since I have made it no secret from the very beginning that I cannot get enough Caroline, I will not waste any more time saying it again. I will just say that you have made everything there enjoyable, it has always been my mission to make you smile and I'm glad that I accomplished it a few times.
Aaron: nice shorts DORK!!!! I really hope you know that I don't just tease anyone for anything, I would only give someone such a hard time because I am friendly with them, so I really hope you didn't take any of my teasing too seriously. It sucks that you weren't around much in the last couple of months but after I leave don't feel like you couldn't call me up to hang, you know I'm always down for some binge drinking and video gamin.
Morgan: I have a theory about you Morgan, you are like Ice Cream to me, I have never been able to stay angry or sad while looking at the Ice Cream, and the same holds true about you. You are like a tiny walking Rainbow of happiness with your candy jewelry and quirky accessories, I knew you were cool when I saw that you drove around with a big Care Bear buckled into a baby seat. Everything about you is warm and friendly, whatever you do don't change that.
Lauren: Ok you are a little weird, lets just get that out of the way. I don't quite have you figured out yet, but I'm exited to learn more. I have always thought that you haven't got a fair shake with everyone, it just seemed like the gossip got a little out of hand and nobody took the time to hear the facts. In the few times we have hung out I have had insane amounts of fun, you have a rare "fuck it" way of laughing and I can't wait to make you lose your shit laughing in New York, we will make such huge asses out of ourselves, I can't wait.
Jenny: For some reason I have always tried not to swear around you, when I do my Jenny impersonation I just act like the Queen of England, because she is very classy and proper, I don't know why that is, it is just how I see you in my head, I imagine that you are the type of person who would never do or say anything hurtful to anyone. That was all before I saw Cigar smoking Mobster Jenny the other day, maybe your a secret bad ass or something; who knows? I also think it is so honorable how you commit yourself to causes and you volunteer your time to help where others can't find the time, the world really needs more people like you.
I really did enjoy working with everyone, I honestly can't say I didn't like anyone *cough Sheraye cough* everyone was awesome.
Thanks Java Train
