It's becoming harder to remain an outsider. Being weird or independently off beat isn't enough to distance yourself from the people around you anymore. It's incredible how we can all relate in so many ways, you'd be hard pressed finding someone who doesn't know a little something about our off putting idiosyncrasies, in fact if your truly seeking a mysterious lifestyle you should probably start date raping Beach Balls right now before someone else does, because it won't be long before you come across a fellow beach toy molester, or someone who can relate to how sexy the stripes look on those inflatable sex orbs.
Less the unconsenting abuse of a bouncy crowd surfer, it's just too hard being completely unique these days, we're all just too similar for anyone to feel not included. There was a time when I took pride in my weirdly ways, I wore it around like an invisible Olympic Medal. Doing so I wasted so much time assuming my opinions and experiences couldn't possibly be understood by anyone else and I failed to notice the people nodding knowingly right next to me; they're feeling me, they're pickin up what I'm laying down, they're felling the funk I'm bringin.
I'd say my years of hocking Huevos with incredibly relatable folks deserves the credit for this realization. I couldn't possibly feel weird when the people around me share in the weird, we can't all be weird right? if we all were, then wouldn't it be weird not to be weird?
Without taking anything away from my Cafe Cohorts I'd like to bid farewell to a bunch of workplace Weirdos I'm gonna miss this Summer. Without the select few of you I wouldn't have felt so comfortable being so weird around all you fucking weirdos.
It had to of been 3 shifts tops before I was cornered by a perky little Hobbit, this cute little ankle biter in ghetto fabulous hoodies was my first work pal and I don't want to leave her behind, can I hide you in my shirt pocket and feed you cracker pieces?
What seemed to be a cranky old lady actually became a fellow sharp witted shit slinger, I don't remember ever getting anything past you without a snappy comeback, your like a sassy Auntie on a Comedy sitcom, and I loved every minute of it. Oh and by the way; you should tell more stories about your $15,000 Horse stepping in a puddle while I add Ketchup to my ramen as a costly Culinary delight.
I'm pretty sure that in an alternate universe I am a female cosmetology student that waits tables for meager tips, sometimes it freaks me out how similar our sense of humor is, I can remember a handful of times that you stole a joke right from my head and it creeped me out every time, I'm gonna miss your overly obscure bands and terrible accents. Oh and you still owe me some audio, chop chop Aretha Franklin!!
C-Town you really need to put some damn socks on, nobody wants to see that giant midget Toe of yours! and where the hell are you getting all those bruises from? are you kickboxing after work or being domestically abused by Cats? I never liked Huey Lewis and The News, that was a trap and you fell for it, you are such a huge nerd, I'm telling everyone!!
I'm already over all of you.......whatever, goodbye
