A decade in transit

Has anyone ever sat and thought about the amount of time we spend in an automobile throughout our lives? Over an 85 year lifespan the average person will be in transit for approximately 8.5 years, and that is without factoring in the time spent immobile while you catch that last ear full of Kenny Loggins, or you pull over to hit your disobedient children. That eight and a half years is solely time spent on your way to and from a destination.

Take some time one day and sort through your fondest car memories, pick a few out, call them your "transportation's greatest hits" if you'd like. Remember the school bus? the soundtrack? the elderly? The drive in? the drive thru? the drive by? So many great memories have been created in our four wheeled fun boxes, almost an entire decade worth. Can anyone honestly compare the time spent in our cars with any other decade? are our cars to blame for Acid Wash Jeans, she mullets, and Kirk Cameron....? When was the last time your car invited you over for a night of Magic Cards, Crystal Meth, and a prescreen of Empire Records......?

While most would agree that the appearance of our cars have changed over the years, could anyone dispute the impact these majestic steel beasts have had on our lives? They have towed our cargo with the strength of a mighty oxen, stored our belongings in their compartments like the noble kangaroo, and most importantly they have watched over our children and dogs like the wise owl while we shop and gamble.

For their years of service and loyalty what have we given back to our cars? how are we spending this decade in transition? We are throwing it away for our text messages and cheap thrills, hell most people don't even enjoy the time they spend in their car, if you don't believe me take a glance over at your next stop light, take close looks at Deborah downer or Douglas Doucher, They are either steaming mad or pre occupied with looking important on their cell phone. HEY it's not your cars fault you have been exploring new areas of lame in your life. Now put down the phone and roll your windows down, turn that music up and enjoy your ride. This is the one part of your day that is void of expectations and responsibilities. your only concerns should be seated dancing and steering wheel drum solo's.

It is no accident that the journey is often more fulfilling than the destination, so I say we start enjoying our travels and salvage what is left of our decade in transit while we still can.

Thank you and goodnight

I am Handi-cappable

I wrote this November 13, 2007, I had broken my ankle and found myself with allot of free time on my hands.



Intolerance, bigotry, hatred, and discrimination. To me Those words have never had definitions or faces until today, I have always considered myself a positive and lucky person until today, my outlook on the planet earth and it's inhabitants has always been optimistic and trusting until today. For those of you who do not know what I am talking about I will explain, yesterday tragedy had successfully carried out a terrorist attack on my ankle rendering it broken and useless, it was a blatant and cruel attack on the freedom and democracy of the honest hard working American bones in my leg. I am almost certain that this is an isolated incidence and completely accidental, but just as a precautionary measure I am told that "Hot Sauce" from the ESPN series "Streetball" and Tayna Harding are being questioned by the Brooklyn Park Police department, but do not worry my friends I haven't put all my faith in the police department to solve this mystery I have also sent letters to Detective Jack Mccoy of Law and orders special victims unit, Horatio Caine of crime scene investigations based in Miami, and Ben Matlock the snoopy crime solving criminal defense attorney. I have sent them letters and files containing evidence, possible leads, and a request for an autographed head shot, all I can do now is wait and hope for the best.

The mystery of my broken ankle is not my main reason for writing this blog, instead I would like to create some awareness about a largely under appreciated minority in America....that's right I am talking about native disabled Americans. WAKE UP AMERICA!!! we are people too and we demand to be listened to and treated with the respect and dignity we deserve, we are more than just the people who get the good parking spots and prescription pills, we are interesting, intellectual, influential members of our communities and we will not tolerate the discrimination and downright physical bigotry that the rest of you people with fully functioning limbs have used to keep us down over the years. WE ARE NOT gimps, cripples, or handicapped!!! those words will no longer be used as tools for the oppression of my people, we refuse to live in prisons of social discrimination, we will not accept any forms of verbal intolerance. From this day forth we will only be referred to as "handi-capable" and nothing else!! any other attempts of verbal slander using the aforementioned words of hatred will be considered a violation of our rights as handi-capable Americans, and furthermore anyone who feels the need to use the G, C, or H words will be shunned by all handi-capable persons everywhere until the perpetrator issues an official apology to our Ambassador of disability Professor Stephen Hawking. Also even though we have not received enough votes in the senate to pass the pity sex bill for all persons who legally qualify for handi-capable status, any and all acts of pity related sexual acts by beautiful women will still be considered acts of extreme heroism and patriotism for your country.

Thank you and goodnight.