I am admittedly under prepared for this post after calling a last minute audible into an Empty Back formation (for the non Football fans: I'M GOING DEEP). "In Good Hands" was supposed to be the title of this post, and I had planned on writing about how the major insurance companies should offer comprehensive douche coverage or accidental encounter plans for those times in life where you do or say something uncharacteristically stupid. The idea was that you could sacrifice embarrassing moments while younger to insure against future mishaps, you know like: one could spend a day of High School in urine soaked sweat pants to prevent ALL future sneeze/farts as an adult..... Don't act like you haven't sneezed so violently that it made you fart a little, it's happened to everyone, and I want a policy to cover such events.
Like all the Random thoughts before this one I spent a couple days planning a clever way to make my newest conception a fun read, hell I even hunted down some insurance jargon to work with, but when I sat down to write it up I found myself behaving like the type of overly critical painter that hates everything they do. It just seemed too obvious and forcefully funny, and "that just isn't me" HAHAHAHA listen to me, I don't have the Beret or creative introspect to claim anything "isn't me" but I did, and then scrapped the life insurance narrative for something a little more familiar and off the cuff risky like most Hail Mary Passes tend to be.
Chris Hoosline is his name and being lanky is his game, this giant Goose of a man is the eldest of three brothers, a father, kind of a dick, and most importantly my best friend. I have known this lethargic knuckle dragger for about 14 years now and according to the BFF bylaws; two parties must remain acquainted for a term no less than 168 Fort Nights or 49 Dog Years and share a minimum of 12 embarrassing or potentially incriminating secrets. So I believe we are covered in that regard.
This guy not only has the goods on me but the brazen courage to spew them out if need be, he is undoubtedly the last person you would want around when attempting to be phony or overly boastful because He is known to carry a loaded six shooter full of morally grounding stories about me, and to say he has an itchy trigger finger would be understating the apparent. But in my opinion this is what makes for a successful dynamic between friends, and is one of the reasons we have remained friends for so long, also we seldom waste time trying to beat each other at the game of life like supposed friends do, and we both realize bickering over meaningless shit is exactly that-meaningless shit.
I also believe Once you have established the underlying importance of friendship with someone it makes for the most productive and honest form of friendship; one friend could tell the other that their blog is self righteous while saying they didn't know I could write, and the other friend could respond with the fact his wife is rapidly becoming a chubby chaser while knowing their relationship sets the standard for what I want.
It has always been my favorite argument that Girls vaguely grasp the concept of "best friends" and I think this is because at a young age friendship was so closely related to status, possessions, or a dislike of someone. Most Boys made friends through mutual interests and experiences While Girls were busy making creative collages and suggestive jewelry that only lasted until the mutual love interest or loss of a borrowed sweater happened. Us Men wasted no time with temporary friendship symbols but if we did there is no doubt that our bracelets would read: Better Friends Forever.
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