Tough Cookies

Isn't it funny how little snippets of a memory can stick in your mind and define the entire memory they were cut from, let's see if I can articulate. Last Winter in my Baking course our class was assigned a History of baking essay, the objective was to pick something interesting in the baking field and write a factual report on it, So this wannabe trendsetter fixed his peepers on something original and never looked back. I chose to write the true life story of Poppin Fresh, you know-the Pillsbury Dough Boy, it was titled "Tough Cookies" and there was a limitless source of content to be found, so much that I quickly became overwhelmed by choosing which information to use for my report.

The assignment called for 1-2 pages of factual and sourced information, I wrote 3 pages not including the paragraph below that I added to set my paper apart from the stack of copy pasted Wikipedia reports I assumed our instructor was tired of reading. I just wanted my paper to be something unique, what a mistake that was. In retrospect the six word editorial note written in red felt tip was the snippet of importance that made this piece of time memorable. I still couldn't tell you anything about the Wafer Cookies called Tuiles, but I distinctly remember that my history of baking report "was not a creative writing assignment".

In October of 1965, Pillsbury debuted the 14-ounce, 8 3/4-inch character in a Crescent Roll commercial. The original voice of the Doughboy was performed by the actor Paul Frees. The Doughboy's costar in the commercial was Maureen McCormick [about.com 1997]. The advertisement campaign was a huge success for Poppin, but little did he know that his success would begin fueling the fire that devoured him and everyone around him. Since the commercial debut of Pillsbury's crescent rolls, Poppin Fresh has been arrested twelve Times, visited 3 celebrity rehabilitation clinics, and lost more than 103 Million dollars in civil law suits [my imagination 2009]. In 1968 a local Miami newspaper reported the arrest of Poppin Fresh and 9 other Gingerbread suspects after a physical dispute outside a local nightclub. Poppin and the other suspects were taken into custody and charged with assault, possession of 20 ounces powdered sugar and 3 unregistered Pastry bags [just making stuff up 2009]. This incident was the first of many poor decisions made public. Another recorded incident was in 1974 when his angel shaped sugar cookie wife named Poppie, filed for a divorce. With the success of his career and his growing icon status Poppin and Poppie's divorce quickly became a public circus filled with rumor and legal posturing that lasted 6 long months. Poppie would later win a unprecedented 85 Million dollar settlement and full custody of their 3 Graham Cracker children [my imagination 2009]. Poppin would later admit his messy public divorce was his biggest regret in life besides Pillsbury's pumpkin shaped sugar cookies that tasted like candy corn and mozzarella cheese.

For some reason I have been ashamed of this well sourced report for a long time. I don't regret trying to be creative, or the amount of work put in, I was more likely embarrassed by the D given as a grade by my instructor. After all the work, research, and originality I couldn't believe that D was my grade and representation of effort. When questioned about the grade my instructor said "you didn't follow directions, I did not ask for creative writing" Not only did I do a full extra page of factual writing I also included much more information than most of the A papers, So I am left believing that my "creative writing" bothered her so much that it affected my grade.

I should probably feel cheated or wonder if a leaking cave ceiling is responsible for this Troll Woman's abrasive personality, but I cannot on both accounts. Instead I remember that between chewing rocks and the limbs of slow children this monster did mutter something about my writing being creative, and that has been taken as complimentary and confirming, almost like saying someone is an Artist after they create something or a NASA Cadet becoming an Astronaut upon entering space. So with a new found feeling of pride I am glad to share my homework with the handful of people that take time away from Sudoku or Babies in Stock Pots to read my random things.