Regarding my Regards

I should probably start working on a professional letterhead; nothing fancy, just a couple crisp words in a reputable font. "From the desk of Lord Timothy" or "The offices of Tim and associates" would probably suffice. I don't have a pressing need to send classy memo's around, but like a nice pair of Khaki's, it's probably best having it around just in case. Like if you ever plan to write your congressman, or publicly dispute a paternity test with a creepy Carny named Maury.

In the history of correspondence I'm certain nothing important has ever been sent on notebook paper or a poorly formatted 8x11 printer sheet. A letterhead is a necessity if you want your message taken seriously. If you plan on writing someone on a sloppy College Ruled sheet torn from a spiral notebook then you might as well sub out your ink for Raccoon pee, because anything you write will be perceived as the ramblings of a mad man anyway. With the exception of ransom letters and juicy preteen gossip.

The severity of a letter is always evident by the professional layout and quality of paper used: "FUCK!!! 9x11 45lb paper, I'm getting sued again". A Stationery on the other hand has almost the exact opposite effect on the recipient. If you open mail with a cute stationary enclosed; chances are you are being invited to the 5th Birthday celebration of "Sparkles" the Feline roommate of your lonely friend, and that's pretty awesome, unless you haven't found the "Purrrrrfect gift".

My Letterhead would likely be used for super important things as well. I bet a quick collection letter could help settle the outstanding $5 bills, drinks, and hand jobs I've been promised over the years. Or upon being offended by a strangers statement I could scurry to the closest PC and print out a quick memo wherein I cordially invite them to an exclusive ball sucking event hosted by yours truly.

I got work to do